He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
