I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
