Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
