THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dick very happy bro
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
