he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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