were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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