Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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