can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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