...so i touched it.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
