dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
