i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
