Don't you send me to vm
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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