i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
