Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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