You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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