i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
