Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
