yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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