yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
