it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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