we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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