Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
