Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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