Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
