i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
