i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
