Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
