i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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