I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
