so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You were trust falling into bushes
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
