Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
