that's an acceptable place to lick
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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