Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
