Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
