He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
