Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
