"it" just moved
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
