forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
