ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
