So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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