He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
another moral hangover. fuck.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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