I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
