never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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