first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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