Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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