to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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