I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
