That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
ttyl tear gas
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
