Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
