So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
