Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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