i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
