she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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